Do you care… about yourself? Often times we as leaders become what Mike Foster (@mikefoster) calls
“Heroic Sacrifice” where we run to be the “hero” to others when we ourselves are the one we need rescuing. I’d know, I am calling myself out, I have a hero complex. I love running to help others and a few years back I did it so much for others, my church, my friends, I became very, very unhealthy!!!
I finally broke and honestly, there was nowhere to turn, at least I thought. I longed for someone safe to talk to that wouldn’t judge me and say, “but your a “PASTOR” you shouldn’t feel this way ” but I was and I did.
Here are some steps that Mike Foster shared during his session at Orange Conference
SELF CARE- if we are going to care for others we have to care for ourselves.
Self care is not SELFISH! – Self-care IS Strategic-
*Good leaders practice self-care. (take an inventory on your own, physical, spiritual, emotional health)
*Be there for others but never leave yourself behind
*”Spiritual By-passing”- is when we deal with others so we don’t deal with our own pain.
“Heroic Sacrifice”- Leaders are often seduced by the idea of heroic sacrifice
Heroic Sacrifice is not the Gospel but only its most common substitute-
Heroic Sacrifice creates…
-Suicide bombers and co-dependents
-Resentful moms and angry dads
-Burned out leaders
7 Principles:
1) You are not THE Doer- You don’t do the work, God does!
2) Not every need has your name on it.= Define your reach, know your area. define your mission.
we do care by doing in community, where everybody has a role.
3) You are not the “hero” in their story= they are! it is their story.
“Effectively helping other doesn’t start with the right words, prayer, person, verses, or the right advice, it begins with the right intention.
4) Exhaustion is not a status symbol. don’t brag about it do something about it.
5) Let your soul catch up with your body.-
6) You are ridiculously in charge of your life. -“you are not powerless, it’s a lie from the devil! – you shape your schedule, you make the choices. “Take Charge” don’t be a victim.
7) You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm!
you can only help people if you don’t burn up.
How do you care for yourself?- Draw a canteen (our heart and life-
we need water inside (our soul care)
Identify a daily, weekly, annually. – something that replenishes you and keeps your canteen full.
*what is a daily practice that you can do? just for ME> give yourself 30min
*Whats a weekly thing that replenishes you?
*Whats a quarterly – take a little more time, planning $$
*Annual-
*Keep it specific which keeps you accountable.
Do you need someone to reach out to and share your hurts, struggle etc? Reach out to me, I’d be happy to walk you through the process I journeyed through to get back to where I love life and love serving the King! wbman99 (at)gmail.com or DM me at @ptbump on Twitter
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